The Differences Between Emotionally and Love-orientated Heterosexual Masochism, and Repressed and Fragmented Masochism

I just read an interview, and watched various video-clips, of a fairly famous so-called dominatrix from another country, who I won’t name. After watching the first erotic BDSM video-clip, of this dominatrix posing and speaking by herself - as her sort of erotic monologue - I was not convinced that she was a sexually dominant woman, a female masochist, sadomasochist, switch, or female masochist, as she was talking very sexually dominant and sadistic, but her body-language and facial expressions and movements, were very sexually submissive.

My immediate first impressions of this dominatrix, was that she was not a masochist, nor a female dominant, not a switch, nor a female sadist, but that she was an actual female reverse masochist. After watching many of her other erotic BDSM video-clips though, I now think she is also a bisexual sadomasochist, but I am still not convinced that either she was a female dominant or sadist, nor that the men she was whipping and sexually dominating and degrading, were at all masochists in the true sense and reality of the term.

I think that these men, are not real masochists, in the holistic sense, because they are just into and enjoy pain and humiliation from women, but like dominatrices, they are very emotionally cold - they show no individual or mutual emotion (as part of being sexually submissive to women) - and whilst they like pain and sexual humiliation, they are not in any way both emotionally-and-sexually submissive with or towards women.

I also did think at first, that this dominatrix is in very straight talking, what many people would just call "a female pervert", because of the very unusual and/or quite depraved things she does with men and some women sexually, in these video-clips, but I personally think it’s wrong to label people as so-called perverts, if they are open and honest about what they do sexually, if it is all freely chosen and mutually consensual, and if they are not sexual or other types of child and relationship abusers.

I do think that this dominatrix has what some people would call "a very dirty mind", but I also think that both the men she does these sexual things with, are actually repressed masochists, in terms of a total lack of BDSM holistically integrated emotional sharing and actual love, and that she is also a repressed female dominant or sadist in this way as well. However, she is not repressed in a purely sexual sense, with her female dominance and sadism towards men, because she is obviously totally open and honest about it, freely expresses it, and makes these pornographic BDSM video-clips for profit and for people’s entertainment, with a little bit of exhibitionism by all thse performers, thrown in as well.

A female member of my family, is utterly convinced that I am not a masochist at all, because as a socialist, she understands, views, and judges sexuality and sexual behaviour, by a persons social behaviours, and as she rightly pointed out, whilst I am sexually submissive and masochistic towards women, I am not really socially submissive towards anyone, at least by choice anyway. This female relative would therefore, say that these men in those dominatrix video-clips were masochists, and that, again, I am not a masochist and nothing like them. She is right, that I am both sexually and socially nothing like these men in those video-clips, but again, in my opinion, this is because they are repressed masochists, and I would still maintain, claim, and say, that I am a very natural and fairly healthy and normal, sexual submissive and masochist with and towards women.

This is all a matter of perception, different types of labelling, contexts, and personal interpretation, but that’s what I have learnt from watching these dominatrix video-clips with men (and with women, because this dominatrix is somewhat sadomasochistic and bisexual, because she sexually dominates women as well), and this is where I stand on the matter.

Whilst I call myself a heterosexual submissive and masochist - because that’s what I know and believe that I am - I agree with this female relative, that perhaps socially-and-sexually, it is a somewhat limited and inadequate label, but in my opinion, this is because I am much more of a sexual submissive towards women, in that I overall enjoy grovelling to women and worshipping them, much rather than I am into or enjoy, receiving physical or emotional pain.

I do like some freely chosen consensual pain from women, such as being whipped by women - if it is done in a sensual or erotic way and freely chosen - but again, I am much more into grovelling to women, worshipping women physically, emotionally and mentally/intellectually, and being sexually and erotically dominated and humiliated by women, rather than being actually hurt in any way.