The very Subtle, Detailed, and Major Differences between Masochists, Sadists, Switches, and Sadomasochists

I had originally said in my first article about them, that my American friend Steve was naturally a sexual-love masochist, and that his British wife Mandy was naturally a sexual-love sadist, and that their sexual orientations, in this way, also became reversed, in order for them to both justify taking some revenge against each other, for in some ways sexually enjoying, mistreating, and abusing each other, in different ways. However, I now realise and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Steve is not really a masochist at all, and Mandy is not really a sadist. The real truth and reality of the matter, is that what Steve and Mandy actually are, is they are both in actual fact and reality sadomasochists.

"Sadomasochists", as a term, is nearly always used as a collective term over the Internet, in books, and within society, to describe both sadists and masochists, separately as different sexual orientations from each other - but grouped together in this way, conveniently by this inaccurate and confusing use of the term "sadomasochists" - and in order to refer to separate masochist and sadist people, as one very general and mixed "kinky" or BDSM group of people. However, in actual fact and reality, whilst there are such separate sexual-orientations, individuals, and human beings, as masochists, and sadists, there is also another completely separate and different type of sexual orientation, from masochists and sadists, and these are actually sadomasochists, and again, this what Steve and Mandy actually are.

What’s more, sadomasochists - whilst in a way still being a mixture of sadism and masochism within individuals, like Steve and Mandy - are not the same as switches, as switches, are a mixture of masochism and sadism, as a more external thing sexually, socially, and psychologically, according to what situation and other person’s switches are in BDSM role-play, or sexual love-relationships with, and which makes them either sexually dominant or submissive with different persons or people.

Unlike switches (who are also sometimes called "versatiles"), actual sadomasochists such as Steve and Mandy, are a fourth type of person and sexuality (who come after masochists, sadists, and switches), and who are a lot more internal, sexually and psychologically, than "switches", in that sadomasochists, are less sexually versatile, more private, and more sexually rigid than switches. Unlike switches, sadomasochists tend to have the same sadistic and masochist (somewhat reversing) behaviour patterns, sexual orientations, and experiences, no matter what other situation or other person, they are in role-play, different situations, or sexual love-relationships with.

Another major difference between switches and actual sadomasochists, is that whilst switches are much closer to what the academic, psychiatric, political, social, and mental health elite's and professionals consider as more socially, psychologically, and sexually healthy, more balanced, more normal and the general norm, most switches and so-called normal, so-called well-balanced, and so-called sexually and psychologically healthy people, are actually in a big way, in actual reality and fact much more sadistic and devious than sadomasochists, in that switches tend to have big cuckolding fantasies, desires, and/or behaviours (having sexual love-making and/or intercourse by openly or covertly cheating on masochist men or other men and women, by having sex and sexual pleasure against other men and women at their expense, and using, exploiting, loving, and/or desiring with or against other men or women as an ultra-submissive third person or party in these ways).

Whilst actual sadomasochists may sometimes engage in cuckolding fantasies, desires, and behaviours, against a very submissive or masochistic third person or party, they only tend to do or engage in all or any of this, if they themselves have been cuckolded or sexually cheated on to get their own back, and they will only engage in cuckolding sexual fantasies, desires, and/or behaviours if it is all agreed upon with and between the very submissive or masochist third person and/or party, and if it is all consensual - but usually even when they do this, they just participate to please all and everyone concerned - as any kind of overt or actual sexual cuckolding, is not really a big part of their major sexual fantasies, desires, nor really their thing.

So strangely enough, actual sadomasochists overall tend not to have these cuckolding sexual and social fantasies, desires, and/or behaviours that most so called very well-balanced and so-called normal switch people have - there is a sort of strange kind of loyalty, integrity, honour, and decency about sadomasochists in this way - and whilst they may sometimes purely socially cheat on or betray each other or other people, if anything, they tend to find the so-called well-balanced, so-called healthy, general, and so-called normal switch non-consensual cuckolding actual sexual and social fantasies, desires, and/or behaviours as very repugnant, unethical, immoral, and very sexually and socially repulsive.

Because of Steve and Mandy both fearing ignorance, prejudice, stigma, and discrimination from others, society, and the world, about their true sadomasochistic natures and desires, these conflict factors and reasons, between Steve and Mandy, sometimes lead to the both of them turning against each other, by judging and criticising each other very hypocritically, and because of all of these things and factors, they also both tend to insulate and isolate themselves from society and the world.

Mandy very hypocritically judges and criticises Steve, by making very harsh, crushing, insults and "moral" criticisms and judgements against him, and Steve does a very similar thing, by using some so-called psychological theories and ideas, in order to say to her or others, that some aspects of her sadomasochism, are due to things like so-called delusions and mental illness.

I also, now understand, why Steve is willing to travel ten thousand miles though, in order to have a sexual love-relationship and be with Mandy, because actual sadomasochists are much rarer, than masochists, sadists, and switches, and it is highly unlikely, that he will ever find the right suitable sexual partner like her again, without somewhat searching wide or far away.

Whilst some of what I initially said, in my first article and analysis, about Steve and Mandy, is still true about them, that they need to discuss and negotiate, in order to in some ways moderate, balance, and compromise their sadomasochism with each other (and I have repeatedly suggested to them that they need relationship counselling for this), it is also true that in some ways they also both very much consent and agree to, sexually enjoy, and like mistreating and abusing each other for their own sexual pleasures, and that some of that about them, will never change.

Both Steve and Mandy, also blame some parental abuse towards them as children, for their sadomasochism, although I personally don’t believe that this is a major cause of their sadomasochism, which is overall biological and genetic, although the child abuse they suffered, has probably intensified their natural sadomasochism. Again though, Steve and Mandy, can still, should, and must compromise, balance, and moderate their sadomasochism in some ways, in order to save their sexual love-relationship, lest they continue to mistreat and abuse each other in some ways, which is not agreed upon or consented by the both of them.