Last night, I looked at about five websites, on the causes and nature of sexual and/or love-orientated masochism. The vast majority of the explanations I disagree with, but there were a few sites, which one way or another, were quite good, and I got the impression, that some experts and academics, have been learning from everyday masochistic people.
One website, said that the best treatment for unwanted or excessive masochism, is counselling or therapy, involving the masochist person getting to know when they feel vulnerable, and learning coping-strategies and ways to respond and understand better to it, and also, having more or better social skills, and assertiveness training, and I more or less agree with that.
I also think that so-called masochism, in men, is to a degree natural, necessary, and a part of being able to love women more spiritually, individually, and/or humanistically, although spiritual, individual, and human love, is generally shunned and rejected these days, in so-called love-relationships, and in our very hedonistic society. One website said accurately, that contrary to past psychiatric and psychological opinion, that masochism was much more common in men than women.
I have sometimes thought, that my own sexual and or love-orientated masochism towards women, was unwanted or excessive, or that it is sending out the wrong signals and messages to some women, encouraging, violence, evil, or oppression in women towards others, and not leading by good influence or example, and this is sometimes very true. However, it’s also true that my sexual and love-orientated masochism towards women, makes me more significantly, deeply, and constructively moral, and paradoxically enables or allows me to be more assertive socially and psychologically. It may also have the same influence or affect upon women, and people in general, according to how I use, integrate, and orientate it.